Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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