Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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