a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
