So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
