White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
