I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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