how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
