so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
