Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
