I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
