he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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