Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
