just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
