good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
