dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
