I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
