I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize