How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
