she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize