youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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