I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
