Me too!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
