I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
