At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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