Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
