I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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