Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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