Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
