i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
