you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
