Plan B is the new Plan A
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
