i don't like sucking hair
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
