He asked me if I "almost moaned"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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