Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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