The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
