Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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