I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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