carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
