you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize