I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
