dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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