great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
