protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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