Duck Duck Cougar?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's shark week go big or go home
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
