I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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