Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
