it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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