I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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