I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
