looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize