His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
