i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
