I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
