Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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