she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize