need another drink. this is the easiest way
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
