How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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