His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
