I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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