You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You've changed since you got that strap on
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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