I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize