the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
