Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
