I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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