Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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