You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
