I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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