Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
