Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
