But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
