she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
