I must be too annoying 4 u.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
