He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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