69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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