plz talk dirty to me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
