i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
